Well, he died in late February (way too soon, I miss him so) but the delay of my sabbatical, that was then scheduled for August-October 2025, became quite important when in March I visited urgent care for a persistent and deep cough that had been brewing since a few days after my dad passed. There was a mass found on an x-ray. I was sent for further imaging, then to a pulmonologist who diagnosed me with a rare lung cancer. This doctor sent me for a biopsy and then referred me to a thoracic surgeon. The biopsy caused my lung to collapse (during Holy Week - which I don’t recommend), and that along with the results of the biopsy changed my diagnosis - from rare, aggressive cancer in my lung, to a benign tumor behind my lung, around a nerve sheath. The thoracic surgeon apologized saying he would have never given the first diagnosis, but noted that surgery was still needed, but not as urgently. And the in-between time began again.

Long story short - surgery was at the end of June, massive pain, quick muscle loss, and usage challenges followed. After months of OT, and follow-ups my surgeon advised me not to take the trip to Ireland alone due to pain and lack of full usage and strength. So once again, I cancelled and reschedule all of my plans (except for the family cruise in August, as I wouldn’t be alone.) The new plan was mid-April through the first week of July - and the waiting began again.

After ALL of that waiting you would think that I had been through this before, so it shouldn’t be so hard. I thought that too, but I am finding these 7 days between the Florida family trip and the the Ireland sojourn to be awkwardly hard. I just want to lounge and do nothing, yet there are many things to get done. There are things I want to do but it doesn’t seem like I have the time, while the things that MUST be done (laundry and packing) I don’t want to do. I just want to get there.

Through all of this I am finding the moments of the now that I need and want to be here for. Like joining Kai and Karl, and his congregation as we said goodbye to a family from Venezuela; or showing up at Kai’s school to help celebrate Teacher Appreciation Week with other PTO members; or spending time at Tiny Tiles Studio to do some mosaic work; or taking a walk after dinner as a family - including our pup. These are the moments I don’t want to fly over, I don’t want to miss - and I am sure these will be the things I miss when I’m feeling alone in Ireland.

So as I sit in this in-between time I do look forward to what is to come, while I also look and center myself in the gift of now and all those I celebrate in the now.

Watch for all but daily posts of at least pictures and locations while I am traveling in Ireland, along with a few days in Iceland!

It was energizing until the first line we waited in was over 90 minutes to begin an experience called, Mario Kart Bowser’s Challenge. As a result of the long wait and our exceptional skills (note snark) we won a trophy! But wow, the lines! I had forgotten how long some of these lines are. Trying to keep Kai engaged, while not complaining about the heat, the sweat, and the soreness of my heels. We got in one line that was over 90 minutes and we ducked under a rope and exited.

As the rest of the day unfolded, we laughed, we waited in line, and then the skies opened up and it rained. Luckily for us we had just entered a show in the Harry Potter area. When the show finished it was still raining, my feet were killing me, and our muscles were saying, “Hey, you’ve been doing this for 8 hours…you can call it.” So, we did and it was a good choice. We showered, rested, and went to dinner, then back to our room to prepare for bed.

One experience I want to remember, so I will share it now. After dinner we stopped at the Starbucks in our hotel. While waiting for our rider we started talking with a mom and her three kids. They were in town for a Cheer Competition from a very small, farming town in Kansas. The mom was asking about the price of the pizza, and the daughter in the cheer clothes asked about the cost of Kai’s cake pop. Mom looked very concerned about the prices and said things were much higher than at home. We articulated that we agreed. Then Karl said let’s get the kids a cake pop. So I went and ordered 3 cake pops and all three of the kids were so happy and kept saying, “Oh thank you, this is amazing.” We wished them good night and then headed to our room. Kai noted that that was a clothing to do, and he was glad we could. We said we agreed and that it is a privilege to be able to share in such a way. We talked about how they might feel, and what our favorite cake pops were, and then we arrived at our room.

What would our world look like if we practiced kindness, even in small, small ways?

Tomorrow we will join a local congregation for worship, then it is back to Universal for day 2…stay tuned for deeper reflections in the next day or so.

There may be some reading this who do not know that the sabbatical that just started on Monday, was my third attempt at this time away. I was originally scheduled to depart after Easter in 2025, but in January my dad, Bob, who was battling ALS and blood cancer, began to decline. When we met with his doctors at the VA they said that the timeline had changed and he had weeks to a few months to live, that the blood cancer was grabbing hold. I asked a few questions and their advice about my sabbatical timing, and they said they couldn’t make a solid prediction, but if they were me they would change my plans. So that is what I did, and I rescheduled it for August-October. And in mid-February my father died. It was devastating, but it was a gift to be with him and my family, and it was also a gift that my community - Christ the King - carried me during that time.

The week after my dad died and before the memorial service, I developed a hefty cough. I went to Urgent Care twice, and then once I arrived home I went to urgent care at my primary office. The doctor who was on at that time suggested I get an x-ray. Down the hall I went, did the x-ray, and shortly after the doctor said I didn’t have pneumonia (phew) but that there was a mass in my right lung, and she referred me to a pulmonologist. After a CT Scan this doctor diagnosed me with a Pancoast tumor and sent me to a Thoracic surgeon. This surgeon after a few tests said that the original diagnosis was wrong, and it was a Schawnnoma tumor, which was almost certainly not cancerous but it could cause me to lose function of my arm. So, surgery was scheduled, happened, and at my first follow-up I asked about sabbatical in August and my surgeon advised against it. In part due to my pain and loss of muscle in my hand, and in part I think because he said he hadn’t seen such pain and almost instant muscle loss and he was concerned.

So I rescheduled my sabbatical again - which formally began on Monday! Picking up the pieces - twice, rescheduling - and trying to put the pieces in a new place. This third time’s a charm includes Spring Break in FL with my boys, then an almost month-long journey around Ireland and three days in Iceland, a trip to California for some art experience/learning, a visit with some dear girlfriends on a beach, sometime in a local studio doing art, and today’s bit - finishing a garden along the side of our house.

You see I began tearing up the lawn along the side fence and creating a garden. I began it in Spring 2025 BEFORE surgery. But I was not able to finish it. So there it sat, with new bricks going halfway down, and grass still visible. But today, after I slept in, I picked up the pieces left last spring, along with a shovel, rake, and some iris that my friend gave me from her garden and I went to work. The ground was soft, and cool, and my hands enjoyed the dirt (although my right hand was so cold at the end it may not have enjoyed it). While I still need to get the rest of the bricks and mulch, it just felt good to pick up a few pieces that dropped at the beginning of this intended plan. I thought about the life that was already re-emerging from the first half, and now the new life that was going to grow its roots in a new place, a new day.

Now, I would not wish any of the bits that delayed all of this on others, but I did discover gifts along the way - bits and pieces that I may have rushed by, forgotten, or never seen at all. As I dive deeper into this special time down, I will be watching to see and discover the other bits and pieces of life that I may have forgotten, misplaced, or put to the side for another time.

On the 2nd day of my sabbatical I woke at 4:30am and was on the road at 5am. Driving from New Hampshire to Virginia. Visiting my mom, sister, brother-in-law, and nephew. It was going to be a quick, quick trip…but one I wanted to make.

I wanted to check in on my mom. I wanted to check in and let my sister know that I appreciate her and her family moving in with mom.

And I found out that I needed the alone time in the car on the 10hr drive down and the 12(?!)hr drive back. I needed that space to take a deep breath. I wouldn’t say I really liked it, or would recommend it (the long drives)…but I needed it.

Midway down I remembered I had downloaded Prince Harry’s autobiography a while ago, and never got to it. About 30 minutes from home I finished it.

What I found myself doing in these long drives was breathing deeply, looking around, and stretching when I stopped for gas or the restroom. I began to realize how much I needed to breathe…to be…

I’m only 4 days in but am already so grateful for this time!

Now what? Well, some rest, some time with family, and in two weeks the first trip begins. There is a lot and and a whole lot of nothing. Until then…

And even though I know that in 73 hours with a few exceptions - if it is not done, it will just be not done, and all will be fine. You see I am my toughest critic, I am my own strictest boss. I should get it all done, and if I don’t, well I’ve failed.

Sigh…

I have been battling these voices for most of my life, and what I want you to hear (and by you I mean me) is that if you don’t get all the things done and if you take time away for you it is a good, and healthy thing for you!

You see, I am a checklist kinda-gal. Checklists for things to do, things to buy at the grocery store, checklists for the checklists from all areas of life! And checklists are good - until you find your life being run by the very tools you implement in an attempt to have a life.

But what do we do? Do we just eliminate checklists all together - I mean if they are more powerful than Superman?! In short, no. The checklists aren’t the problem as a management tool. But they are a problem when they become rulers, measuring tools that measure how good you are compared to expectations (your own and the world’s). This is a lesson I must learn time and again in my life - and this evening as the clock is ticking for my final two sermons before sabbatical, in addition to bits for the semi-annual meeting that I will miss, and the bulletin board that will help the congregation follow my journey (thanks Yoko) needs to be done, and my office (and fridge- thanks again Yoko) cleaned…I had to stop and just let it go for tonight. It will all be there tomorrow…and tomorrow is another day.

So, if you are reading this and wrestling with the same - you are not alone. If you are reading this and you don’t ever do checklists - teach me some of your ways, but only some because as a tool they aren’t bad. And if you see me this weekend shake my had (but my left one) or give me a hug, and make me laugh, drown out the tick, tick, tick, of the clock, and remind me to do the same for you one day

.

Now, it is soon time for me to rest, to take a breath, and to take some time for myself and my family - in order to be the best pastor I can. I am grateful for this time and I pray that this time away helps me set a new pattern, a new rhythm.

In 6 days it will really happen! I will begin my sabbatical. You know, that sabbatical that was originally scheduled for April 2025, and then in August 2025. Both of those rescheduling were what needed to be done for health and family, yet it was hard to have to reschedule, and then to wait again. But it is almost here and I am tired and ready. I am excited and more than ready.

Yet, there are still things to do before I walk out of Christ the King Lutheran Church. Some reports, some scheduling, a memorial service, Sunday’s worship, ordering pizza, service project, visits, an evaluation, and cleaning my office so those who are covering for me while I am gone can feel cozy.

As I leave I am ever more grateful for my community at CtK. You all stepped in and cared for me when things were hard, when I wanted to work but you encouraged me to heal, and through it all! Special shout out to my treasurer who got all the notifications of changed travel plans, returns, and the like…you know who you are! All of you, I am so grateful.

And I hope you will come back here from time-to-time to see the adventures and I’ll share more when I return. Members of the CtK community and any I am connected with as a result of my call to the CtK community, please know you are welcome to comment, but I will not reply - protecting that space of me stepping away for this time.

With that…the clock is ticking and I still have a long checklist. As I head out please keep me and my family in prayer, as I will do for you and yours. Until then…

You can find more works by Nikita Gill at: https://www.instagram.com/nikita_gill/?hl=en

I was invited by State Senator Cindy Rosenwald to come and offer the opening prayer for the State Senate session today. Prior to arriving I was notified that I couldn’t speak to a particular God (Jesus, Yahweh, Buddha, etc…), and that I was not to include a “political talking points” or “issues.” Well, that was a challenge, but below is what I shared this morning.

Good morning. My name is Pastor Kim Hester and I serve alongside the community of Christ the King Lutheran Church and Chapel School in Nashua. I want to thank Senator Cindy Rosenwald for inviting me to offer this prayer today. And as I begin, I want to thank you for stepping up to serve the people and communities of New Hampshire, a responsibility that is heavy and so vitally important to the livelihood and very lives of the people who have elected you.

I will also note that just after I share this prayer with you, I will be heading back to Nashua where I will gather with the graduating class of our Chapel School Preschool and their families, to send them off to their elementary school chapter. It is not lost on me that the work that you do here, in this place, is interconnected with the lives of the youngest among us, those very bright, joyful, and hopeful children who, sooner than we know, will be sitting in the same seats you occupy today. I pray that in all you do, that that responsibility and connection is at the center of your work, your collaboration, and the laws you craft - ensuring that our youngest can fully and wholly grow into the people they have been created to be.

Let us pray. Creator of all, as the NH State Senate gathers and begins their work this day, we ask that your Spirit would blow through these halls, stir amidst their conversation and debate, and move each Senator so that they do the good and just work they have been elected to do. Help them to remember the least and the lost, the sick and the frail, the young and the old as they enact laws that impact people daily. Strengthen each of them in their connection with their families, their neighbors, and their colleagues, so that through their leadership this state we live in, may become more and more a place of welcome, vibrancy, and connection. May all this be done through the love you call us to live, and the promise of the wholeness of community found in that love. May this be so today, tomorrow, and every day. Amen.

A Call to Worship - Pentecost 2025

LEADER: Holy Spirit, blow over the gathered and scattered believers this day,

ALL: open our hearts to your nudge, your cajole.

L: Stir up within us the call you poured over us in baptism,

A: to proclaim the Good News in word and deed.

L: Push us to step out into the world with the gifts we have been given,

A: to help usher in the kingdom of God here on earth, now.

L: Move us from quiet complacency to active advocacy for justice and love,

A: that your will be done on earth as in heaven.

L: Provoke us to speak your language of grace and connection that all the world will know the power and promise of the Creator of all.

A: May it be so! Amen! Amen!